What Makes You Successful
by Lorraine Lawson
When you think of someone super successful, you may think of someone who has millions of fans, has made millions of dollars, has won awards, has worked with the best people, has done exceptional things, has seen spectacular places and have unquestionably achieved their goals and then some.
From the outside looking in, successful people seem to have it all. They seem to have been blessed with certain gifts which give them an advantage over others. They seem to possess some kind of lucky horseshoe which gives them special powers, aligning them with the right people at the right time and subsequently seem to have a clear and certain path to fame and fortune.
What you may not realize is how many hours, weeks, or years it may have taken these people to achieve success. You may not have considered the full story behind how they got started and all they went through to get to where they ended up. You might realized they have made countless mistakes, and experienced numerous failures on their path to achieving their dreams. They have had their hearts broken, had people let them down after making big promises, had their ideas stolen, lost money on bad investments, have been told NO more than YES and most certainly, have had the people closest to them, doubt if they would ever reach their goals at all.
I’m sharing this with you, as someone cares deeply for anyone with a dream. As a vocal, performance and career coach to countless developing emerging and established artists, I understand how easy it is for people to forget where someone who appears successful got started because all they notice is only the end result. It’s so easy to compare yourself, judge yourself and even stop yourself from attempting to reach your dreams because you assume successful people are somehow different than you.
That said, there are some significant differences I want to share with you because by bringing awareness to these differences you can be successful too. Starting with the fact successful people are unwilling let their disappointments, failures, circumstances or situations define them. They understand that a simple mind set shift is necessary to move themself past any obstacles and objections. They are able to remove common distractions and they are ultimately willing to hold themselves to a higher standard. Successful people take 100% responsibility for every choice and decision they make and of course every subsequent outcome, good or bad. They know how to place the ‘right meaning’ for what happens or does not happen and they view these meanings as tools they can learn from instead of burdens to bare. Unfortunately many people get stuck in the meaning they create for WHY something goes right or why it goes wrong which can be the reason they give up too soon or don’t even try in the first place. Successful people are not afraid to look deeper, learn from each loss, adjust their plans, set new goals, let go of people around them who are holding them back and enrol the right people who can help them achieve what they want.
The biggest thing is, truly successful people realize that what defines success is NOT how much money they make or how many awards they win. True success is defined by the personal qualities each person possesses and the level of impact they can have, not only on what they choose to do, but on the people they choose to do it with.
If you want something bad enough you must learn to become UNSTOPPABLE until you reach where you want to be. You must become UNDENIABLE first to yourself and then to everyone around you by developing both personal and professional skills to an exceptional level and then be able to tap into an UNREASONABLE innate desire to constantly do better, be better and dream bigger than the average person will dare to dream.
Successful people….
KNOW WHO THEY ARE!
Everyone can benefit by deepening their understanding of WHO they are! Because when YOU DO, the gates to your future open up and you get to step through them with the confidence you belong, you are worthy, you have something valuable to contribute and YOU ARE UNIQUE just by being YOU. YOU TRUST your choices and decisions and become increasingly UNAPOLOGETIC about HOW you wish to express who you are in the world!
The take away for YOU, from all this, is to say, don’t make the losses mean so much and start to celebrate every win!!! When you do, you will create momentum in the right direction which is forward. Don’t look backwards for too long. It’s smart to ask, why something may have worked or didn’t work but it can be extremely damaging to your confidence level to wish things were different or judge yourself too harshly for things not going the way you hoped. Be patient with yourself and the people around you while constantly and consistently working on YOU!!
It has been proven over and over, by neuro scientists, psychologists, high performance coaches and business leaders alike, 80% of anyone’s success, in any field, is in fact due to that person’s personality and level of personal development while only 20% is due to their knowledge, experience and professional skills. When you recognize people will perceive you as successful based on how effectively you are able to express who you are, the path forward becomes clearer and clearer.
I often don’t share my story but you may find it relatable. I started recording at the age of 16. Over the next 10 years I recorded at least 20 different projects with various producers who believed I was going to be the next Céline, the next Mariah or perhaps the next Shania. In every case I didn’t write the songs back then, I just sang them. I poured my heart out in every session. I was so lucky to record at many studios in TO and LA and prayed the projects would get picked by a record label. I was on an emotional roller coaster wishing and hoping instead of knowing who I was and what kind of stories I wanted to tell in the songs I was recording. No one asked me what kind of artist I wanted to be or why I wanted to be an artist in the first place. I did my job very well which was to sing and perform. I did what I was told, went where I was asked to go, worked hard and was grateful for the opportunities I was given. At 29, I finally released an original pop album I was proud of under the label EMI (which doesn’t exist any longer). The songs were really good. The production was amazing thanks to friends Greg Kavanagh (BKS) and Chris Rouse (Vocal producer extraordinair)! However we all followed a common mistake at the time, which was to vocally honour the song style and genres instead of creating an identifiable vocal sound which could act as a common thread across all the songs. If you listen to this album If I Could you will hear why it received national radio play, got featured on several TV shows and when we made a music video in Mexico, Much Music came to shoot a segment. It’s really good! BUT that’s not where the story ends, in less than 6 months after releasing this pop record, I got paid to record a jazz album under a small label through Universal Music called Quiet Nights. This was a truly outstanding album. The songs were all covers done with really beautiful contemporary instrumental and vocal arrangements. Universal hosted the most beautiful launch party for this project where I felt like a star. There was a lot of excitement from the industry and audience. So…. I’m sure you can see the problem I faced. Was I a pop artist or a contemporary jazz artist? Which project was I going to promote, build a fan base on, which was I going to tour….???? In the 4-month period that followed, I appeared on our then national late night comedy show called The Mike Bullard Show, first as a pop artist with curly hair and then as the jazz artist with straight hair. Instead of choosing one project to lean into fully and build my future on, I ended up sabotaging both projects and decided to give up my dream of being a recording artist and touring the world because I was miserable.
What’s really cool is, as a coach I can share my mistakes and my wins and use my experience to help artists of all ages, levels and genres create a personal plan that works for them. I have never used just one vocal technique or made an artist perform in a way that wasn’t authentic to who they are right now exactly where they want to go. This commitment has carried on into career strategy where I have created artist develop programs with a clear foundation of helping creatives know who they are so they can do what they love at the highest level, attract the right collaborators, team members and obviously the right audience.
Along your journey you may find some people telling you there is only one way to do things. They may say there is only one vocal technique to use no matter genres you are singing for example. Another example that comes up all the time is the idea you must build the audience first to prove there is an audience willing to buy what you are selling and there is another theory many follow which is ‘If you build it they will come’.
The truth is, there are an infinite number of ways to get to any destination. There is never just one path or a one size fits all approach to achieving your goals. There is never just one road or one form of transportation to take but when you know who you are, you will choose the right path for you.
Lorraine Lawson is CEO of LVS, vocal & performance coach, key note speaker, author and mentor
Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/lorraine-lawson
Website: www.lawsonvocalstudios.com